LuciferousNyx - The Abyss

.. in contact with the agonized,
i attempt to relieve by pleasurable scratching
an itch that becomes a painful wound..
a defile opening into me.. my own "une blessure eternelle"..
the eternal wound to which all flesh is prey..

And what is
the flesh..?
i have heard that it is only skin deep.. just how deep, how shallow is this incarnation..?
a victimizing continuum of pleasure and pain.. the fascination as the scab is torn free..

.. i question this state
-of being-
.. this condition
-of being-
"of being what??"
i ask of no one
in particular..

Can i be simultaneously adrift and absolutely safe..?

i exempt myself..

ultimately self-contained.. forever other to all others..
forever alien to the questionably sane while beyond the pale i am ruled (fueled?) by fantasies which absorb the self,
forever nameless
unnamed
withdrawn

is this transcendence..? is this real..?
what is 'real' and what the hell has it to do with anything..?

i let these things scratch at me until i bleed..
until that little defile opening into me becomes
"une blessure eternelle"..

i .. am not now as i began..
and i am most aware of what i am Not..
and of what is..
Absent..